We have heard a lot about self-love, but do we really know how to define it? It is important to know what is self-love and its concept, for us to be able to apply it and carry on happily with our lives.
A lot of us have associated self-love with being egotistic or vain. According to Dr. Andrea Brandt, “Loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re the smartest, most talented, and most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself you accept your so-called weaknesses, appreciate these so-called shortcomings as something that makes you who you are. When you love yourself you have compassion for yourself.” Self-love is prioritizing your own happiness or wellbeing first. By wellbeing, it means different aspects such as psychological, physical, or spiritual. We need to be able to learn how to help others but not at the expense of our own wellbeing. We need to find that balance.
As much as each of us has a different view of happiness and satisfaction, the specific definition of self-love also differs from one another. For example, we might show love to ourselves more by forgiving ourselves more. Self-love also means forgiving yourself. A lot of times we get too hard on ourselves. Like how we studied so hard on a test but still failed. We often cannot forgive ourselves because we think that what we did was still lacking. We thought that we could have done more. Our past mistakes bother us so much that we could not get over it. But, by accepting ourselves, we see a different perspective. A perspective that sometimes we could not do things the way we want to. And that will be the start of forgiving ourselves.
Self-love can be powerful. It enables us to understand ourselves more. If we understand and forgive ourselves more, we can start to trust ourselves more. Trusting oneself means being able to believe that everything that we are going to experience, we can conquer it. A series of hard events could knock us down. And when another challenge comes, we might get fear because we lost that trust to go on. But by learning to trust especially to ourselves we develop an inner special relationship that allows us to go on and breakthrough hard times.
Self-love can also mean being nice to ourselves. How can we be nice? Specifically, to ourselves? Being nice can mean a lot of different ways. You can start being nice by trying to affirm yourself more. Try saying good things to yourself. “You did well, today!”, “You are amazing!”, “You look good!” these are everyday words we often tell others but not to ourselves. Being nice to yourself also means to treat yourself. Treat yourself to a relaxing day at the spa or treat yourself to your favorite food at your favorite restaurant or buying yourself the shoes that you really want. Do something you wanted before as a hobby. Enjoy something you wanted to do for a long time. We sometimes worry about how to be nice to others that we neglect the fact that we should also be nice to ourselves, that we should also cater to our own happiness and enjoyment.
Self-love can also be us taking good of our physical body better. It means sleeping with the right amount our body needs. Listen to our physical bodies. Rest when tired. Also, eating nutritious food that could make our body healthy. Exercising to keep ourselves active. These tips for taking care of our body can bring us the calmness and happiness that we need.
Also, we often get ourselves busy and we forget to relax. So, self-love dictates to put our phones down, close our laptops, or just be able to get everything out of our way. Take a deep breath, relax, and meditate. Go to the beach or the mountains. Feel the night breeze, watch the sunrise and the sunset. This way we can appreciate the things around us and will lead us to connect to ourselves more. If we have seen more about ourselves, we may be able to know clearly our physical, psychological, and spiritual needs. In that way, we can take care of ourselves more.
Indeed, it is hard to love yourself sometimes. It is also confusing, particularly when we do not know how to. But it is also vital to find the satisfaction that will eventually lead to happiness. Our happiness is just as important as the happiness of others. We should always remember that.
To know more about self-love, you can read these sites:
Also, here’s an inspiring video talking about self-love: